Definition: Choosing to listen to and follow the guidance of my inner voice, believing I know what is right for me, even when other people think or say otherwise.
When we were born we had an inner resource – self-trust. We knew what we liked to eat and who we wanted to play with. As children, we grow up knowing ourselves – our tastes and preferences but the adults in our life always told us they knew better, we believed them and our intrinsic self – trust became buried.
Unfortunately for many of us we became conditioned to seek the approval and guidance of others instead of trusting our own. The voices of others became louder than our own inner voice. As a result, many of us suffer from indecision, constant desire for approval, self-comparison with others, perfectionism and fear of failure. We seek to receive external validation but the truth is the only way self-trust is achieved is by knowing yourself and loving yourself.
We learn very quickly from the adults in our world who reinforced good behaviour or choices with a smile and undesirable behaviour with a frown. We then grow seeking this validation in order to feel good about ourselves. The truth is that when we seek this validation outside of ourselves, we never really achieve happiness. It is short-lived. We can spend our lives climbing the chasing the prize – the top job; to be famous; to have a large social media following; to reach academic recognition or attaining the endless material possessions we want but this is not true sustainable fulfilment.
If we have fallen into this trap, you have probably had some painful experiences where there may have been a relationship breakdown, poor decisions leading to wasted time, energy and money and worst of all this caused us to miss the opportunities we really wanted to take bringing love, happiness, success and peace into our lives.
Whilst we understand that pain can be turned into lessons from which we grown, we can get the lessons delivered faster and in ways that are more supportive. We need to tune into our inner voice, our inner wisdom, our internal GPS. We then will know what to do next, where to go next, and we will trust our decisions big and small and we are willing to take risk. We don’t fear failure or making mistakes because our sense of self isn’t reliant on external sources.
Tips to grow Self-Trust:
- Tune into your inner wisdom daily: Self-trust is developed over time by small steps taken daily. Get in the practice of doing this before you get out of bed in the morning and just before you go to sleep at night. Eg In the morning ask yourself what do I need today to care for myself, at night perhaps what did I learn today, what would I like to change, and congratulate for the commitments you kept with yourself.
- Journalling – this will quickly put you in touch with your inner wisdom. When you journal it is effectively consulting with your inner wisdom. If you have some decisions to make – set aside some time and space with your journal in hand and the answers will come.
- Notice what your senses are telling you – your senses tell you if you are headed in a direction that may lead to difficulties, your senses tell you when you are in the presence of others who drain you or are extremely negative, your senses tell you when the situation you are currently in is not serving you. Listen to these and know this is your true GPS not the logical mind that can go around in circles at times.
- Keep promises to yourself – put them in your diary as appointments. Treat yourself as your own best friend. If you stood up your friend a few times when you had committed to catching up they wouldn’t be your friend for very long. Ensure you value time with yourself and in turn others will value you more.
- Be kind and patient with yourself – know that you are growing in self-trust and it is a process. Be kind and patient with yourself: when you haven’t perhaps trusted your senses, when you have felt pressured to override a commitment to yourself. Be aware of this and say to yourself ‘I’m only learning, I’ll do better next time a similar situation arises again.’
Thankyou for your time,
Love from me
Karen Ormston is a Professional Life Coach, Intuitive Guide and ThetaHealing Practitioner who is the owner-director of Petite Soul Sanctuary. www.petitesoulsanctuary.com.au
Photo Source: Photograph by Brett Lowell / REEL ROCK
Ashima Shiraishi, 14, climbing Horizon (V15), at Mt. Hiei, Japan. With this ascent, Shiraishi became the first female to climb a boulder problem rated V15