CONNECTION - WHAT EVERYONE SEEKS...
In a technological age when communication devices have the ability to connect people all over the globe in the remote areas it is my observation and that of many others that we have lost the art of connection.
We have smart phones and an endless list of platform choices in which to communicate. I am a relative newbie to social media and entered this world around 2 years ago when I started Petite Soul Sanctuary. Entering the world of facebook I was amazed and excited to see many of my friends had an account and it was a great way to reconnect with many people I had lost touch with. I love seeing pictures of my friends and family giving me further insight and understanding of their lives through posts shared.
Whilst I am thankful for this newly founded ability to connect with others, I still prefer and feel the need to meet those I love one to one and face to face – usually with over a cup of tea. I sooo treasure my ‘tea-time’.
This has been influenced by the women in my life – my mother’s family is Chinese and as a youngster every day the adults in my life made time to sit and connect with each other over a cuppa and usually some sort of homemade treat. This was a time free from external distractions – no television, no phones. We were encouraged to discuss the happenings of the day and anything else that was on our mind. If I be honest as a youngster it was probably the attraction of the homemade treat that kept this practice alive. This is still something I do in our household today with my little ladies but maybe the type of tea and the fact that the treat is not always homemade has changed.
Today there are so many distractions that in my opinion keep us from truly connecting with ourselves and others. Whilst some are necessary for our wellbeing or to live we need to be vigilant – maintaining the balance and ensuring that they don’t keep us separated from true connection. Here are a few that quickly come to mind: work, phones, social media, television, gaming, sport, a busy mind that is living in the past or the future – the list goes on. My mum always says ‘Everything in moderation’ and she is right.
Last year was an amazing year of awakening for me personally. One experience that really moved me was in a ThetaHealing class when the exercise involved sitting opposite another person quietly staring into their eyes and giving them your undivided attention. Many struggled to look into the eyes of another. We were then asked to tune in to the other person. After the exercise finished I was speechless, I felt total connection with this relative stranger after only a few minutes and was moved to tears. On some level I knew of their fears, I felt their pain, but also received insight to their hopes and dreams…I had connected with their soul by nothing else but through looking at their eyes – I was deeply moved. It left me thinking yes we have connections through various means but rarely are we truly connected.
Through my work I find that the mere act from my part of wanting to understand and listen is all people really want. My work as I see it is opening up the channels of communication so that people will have connection with themselves, and to dedicate time and energy to understand themselves and love and support themselves – to build a home within themselves where it is safe to just be. I have found that once this is achieved we are able have healthy relationships with others and not seek relationships in which we crave connection with others in order to fill the void within.
Recently I came across Thich Nhat Hanh’s book – ‘True Love – A Practice for Awakening the Heart.’ Thich if you have not heard of him before is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk whose words always speak to me. The title may make you think the book is only for couples but its deep simple wisdom and teachings can be applied to all relationships should we so choose and it also addresses the relationship with yourself.
I felt the need to share my takeaways from this book with you in the hope that it may inspire you to truly connect to those you love and to yourself.
Do you have freedom and allow others freedom in their life to pursue their passions and relationships with themselves and others. Thich encourages use of the words
‘Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?’
Love is Being there
‘Do you have time to love?’ The most precious gift you can give to those you love is your true presence. Thich encourages use of the words
‘Dear one, I am really here for you.’
Recognizing the Presence of the Other
To love is to recognise, to be loved is to be recognised by the other. Recognise the presence of the person you love several times each day.
We are encouraged to use the words
‘Dear one, I know that you are here, and it makes me very happy.’
Being There when Someone is Suffering
‘Dear one, I know that you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.’
Even before you actually do something to help, the person you love is relieved. Your presence is a miracle, your understanding is their pain is a miracle and you are able to offer your love immediately.’
This is when you are suffering yourself and you think that your suffering has been created by the person you love most is the world. You may feel like going to your room, closing the door or being by yourself. You refuse to go to him or her to ask for help. So now it is pride that is the obstacle.
If you are suffering, every time you are suffering you must go to the person in question and ask for his or her help.
‘Dear one, I am suffering so much, please help me.’
Learning to Speak with Love Again
With deep listening is the practice of loving speech. You have to write in such a way that the other person is receptive toward reading it, you have to speak in such a way that the other person is receptive toward listening.
Restoring Peace within Yourself
Buddha said ‘The object of your practice should first of all be yourself. Your love for the other, your ability to love another person, depends on your ability to love yourself.’
If you are not able to take care of yourself, if you are not able to accept yourself, how could you accept another person and how could you love him or her? So it is necessary to come back to yourself in order to be able to achieve the transformation.
We do not keep real surveillance of our territory. We feel there are immense conflicts there, too much suffering, too much pain- we run away and in free moments we distract ourselves so we don’t have to deal with the suffering inside us, afraid of war and conflict. We need to come back to ourselves to restore peace and harmony.
Caring for yourself, re-establishing peace and harmony within, is the basic condition for helping someone else.
Caring for Our Pain
Every time you have an energy that needs to be transformed like jealousy or fear do something to care for this negative energy if you do not want this energy to destroy you.
‘I know that you are there, anger my old friend. I am taking care of you now.’
‘I am here for you, dear one, I am here for you.’
This means that you are there for yourself like a mother is there for the baby, this will allow you to embrace the energy of pain and transform it.
This was a lengthy blog but I hope it has inspired you in someway to take action to truly connect with others and yourself
Thankyou for your time,
Love from me
Karen Ormston is a Professional Life Coach, Intuitive Guide and ThetaHealing Practitioner. Owner-director of Petite Soul Sanctuary. www.petitesoulsanctuary.com.au
Photosource: The Zen Calligraphy of Thich Nhat Hanh